I am not someone that traditionally makes a New Year’s resolution but as 2020 comes to an end and I look over the past year I realize that I persevered through this nightmare of a year because of the help and motivation of my family and the staff at Bon Homie.
Do you recall experiences in your life where you were too stubborn to accept help that was offered or to hesitant to ask for it?
Have you ever been in a situation where you are getting ready for a birthday party or family get together and someone offers to bring a dessert or come early and help decorate and you assure them you have it all under control? And then an hour before the party you quietly complain or maybe loudly complain that you should have accepted their help.
I always had a difficult time accepting offers from family and friends to stop at the store and pick up the few things I may have needed for the next day or I would turn them down when they offer to do something as simple as running to the post office for me.
I have also struggled with asking for help. I find it exceedingly difficult to ask for help and always need to talk myself into asking someone to help me before I verbally speak the words. Is it a sign of weakness when asking for help? As a mother or father are you supposed to be able to work full time, care for your children, be a part time taxi and still find a few minutes to relax at night?
Those of you that are caregivers know that not accepting help or asking for help does not improve your situation at all. You are working within limited constraints to begin with and having more tasks that need to be completed within a certain time frame only adds to your stress. Whether you are raising your children or caring for a parent time is always a valued treasure.
An example that I have, almost on a daily basis, is accepting help when I arrive at work and get ready to carry all my bags into the center. I typically carry several bags, including my computer bag and a toy bag for my 5-year-old son who spends time at the center throughout the week. I dislike making multiple trips to my car, so I load my shoulders up with bags, place my coffee in one hand, take my sons hand in the other and off we go. Staff who arrive at the same time as we do will often offer to help me, I joke with them about being a bag lady and of course refuse their help. By the time I make it to my office, my arms are shaking, and I am hoping I don’t drop my coffee. I know any rational, logical person would accept help the next time.
I have also come to realize especially during this very trying year that accepting help can make you stronger and make your situation better. I had this experience when our center was forced to close in March due to the Coronavirus. The staff at our center worked together and developed a remote program which has played a major role in our center’s survival. This virtual program that takes place on a computer through zoom has been the primary method that has allowed us to offer consistent services to our clients while our doors are closed. It has been a great experience to see staff take ownership of this program and to get behind a concept that they believe in. Having staff take the lead role in this program gave me the time to focus on other areas of our program that required my attention and helped me to manage the stress I felt during this transition period.
For my 2021 New Year’s resolution I am going to work on asking and accepting help in all areas of my life, I know this will bring a better balance to my life. I challenge each of you to work on accepting and asking for help in areas of your life that you and the individual you care for will benefit from. What will be your New Year’s Resolution for 2021?
